My name is Kimberley Nixon. You may know me from such shows as Fresh Meat, Cranford, Hebburn, The Tuckers, Ordinary Lies or films like Wild Child, Angus Thongs & Perfect Snogging and Easy Virtue. I sound like fucking Troy McClure.
But I’m so much more than that. I’m an overthinking, giant pain-in-the-arse of an obsessive wife and mother. I’m an idiot and enjoy pulling stupid faces for cash. I love Agatha Christie novels. So much so, I won ‘Celebrity’ Mastermind (the celebrity bit is in quotes for a reason).
But in October 2020, something happened to me that fundamentally changed my life.
After 5 years of trying to have a baby and finally doing IVF, I got pregnant with the most wanted little boy in the world just as the world was plunged into Covid chaos.
My husband (also my best friend) and I have been together a long time. Whatever number you’re thinking, double it. And add three years. So by the time our son was about to make his appearance - mid-pandemic - we were beyond excited and ready to meet him.
That Sunday night, we had a curry, watched a Marvel film and cwtched our dog, Bob. Well, I did. My husband and the dog have a difficult relationship as she loves me and he semi-hates her. Anyway…
Monday came around and my entire life changed. My entire BEING changed. The birth went “a bit wrong”, I think is the medical term for it and from the moment he came out, I feel like I had a few seconds to marvel at him being here, finally, after so long before something deep inside of me crashed. My whole world shifted. Something was wrong. Very wrong. Askew. I felt like I was in a parallel universe but I was the only one who could see it.
Like that bit in Quantum Leap when he first arrives in his new body.
I’ll talk about what happened next in later posts. I will explain how my brain started to “attack me”. I’ll be truthful about the fact I was absolutely terrorised by intrusive thoughts and images 24/7 leaving me petrified to be around my own baby.
But don’t worry. There’ll be a few laughs along the way.
I don’t really know what I’m doing with this but I do know I only started to properly get better and deal with my OCD diagnosis after deciding to be honest on Instagram and finding the most lovely, non-judgmental community there.
I’m an actor too. So there’ll probably be some showboating. And hell, famous guests?
I can promise that I’m always honest, I’m always a bit inappropriate with my humour and I’m always looking to shine a light on this cruel, heartbreaking and deeply misunderstood condition.
Buckle up.
Kim x
I’ve got OCD stemming from trauma too! I feel like my life has changed and the old me is taken over by the crazy OCD me BUT I’m in therapy and taking meds and hopefully I’ll manage better soon! Excited to follow your journey x